Learning labor

My son (nickname, “TT”) grabbed hold of his marigold yellow FAO Schwarz toolbox, crawled under the dining table, and while extracting the well-worn wrench proclaimed, “Don’t bother me Momma! I’m working!”

No, the table was not in need of repair. TT was simply in need of an identity—a way to fit into the grown-up world of (male) work. After all, for almost a year, he’d return from preschool only to learn that his Daddy was out “working on a stinky house” and wouldn’t be home until past his bedtime. From his mind’s eye, he saw:

1. Daddy WENT to work (outside of the home).
2. Daddy physically LABORED at work (strength over mind).
3. Daddy used TOOLS at work (machinery manipulated to complete a task).
4. Daddy didn’t LIKE work (‘I HAVE to go work on STINKY houses).
5. And when Daddy was at home, he was STILL working! (Talking to sub-contractors on the phone, completing our own home repairs, etc.)

TT’s Aristotelian view of work as toil came not just from his Dad, but what he picked up at preschool too.

Ever eavesdrop on parent-child drop-off exchanges at daycare? You know, ‘don’t cry baby. Mommy has to leave for work or she’ll be late. But, you’ll have fun. More fun than me! I promise!’ Or, ‘Daddy doesn’t want to go to work either, but I have to go now.’ Hmm...I'm guilty!

How about those preschool career books lying around—ever flipped through the big bold print? You know the books that plant the quickly rooted (American) question ‘what do you want to be when you grow up?” and offer few answers to that very question with a quick portrayal of traditional, sex-typed occupations. ‘Meet Dave. He’s a Doctor. Meet Jane. She’s a Nurse.’ Where are the social media consultants, entrepreneurs, or non-profit leaders???

It’s no wonder that our daughter, Magda, is worried that she might only get to be 1 thing when she grows up! She’s being asked to choose A work identity, now, at age 5!

While Daddy no longer works “in the field” and instead “goes to the office” Monday through Friday (the topic of another post), our son’s developing concept of work continues to gravitate toward that which he can see, manipulate or produce. Waving a hammer holds much more weight for him than sitting in front of the computer, though he enjoys the latter much more than the former...